30 August 2002 - 10:37 p.m.

Anyone who says they hate compliments is lying.

They may not be lying if they say they don't receive compliments well. I sure don't. Here is an example of a conversation in which I receive a compliment: Other person says, "Melissa, you are (insert nice thing here)." I say, "erm ... uh ... yeah ... mumblemumblemumble thanks?" But I love compliments nonetheless. I love giving them. I love getting them. I think they're the best things ever in the whole history of the earth. Here's why.

I love giving compliments ... especially when the person is not expecting one. The look of happiness on their face is wonderful. It's like giving a present that is free (which is my favourite price for a gift). I think I like giving compliments better than receiving them because, as I mentioned before, I'm no good at receiving them. 'Tis a joke among Slow Kids that we like nothing better than complimenting ourselves ... except hearing someone else compliment us. I am the exception to this. I can't stand watching myself on the videos ... I don't like hearing that I was good or funny. My own worst critic I s'pose.

This is not to say I do not enjoy hearing how great I am. There is that uncomfortable first moment where I am squirmy and nervous. In retrospect, they are great ... and I don't forget them. When I was thirteen I was painfully self-concious. I was terribly awkward and pretty lonely in my little town. People could be cruel and fairly terrible. I made a vow then to forget the bad things that people said and remember the good things. After a while I realized that I wouldn't necessarily forget the bad things ... but I wouldn't remember them as vividly. I couldn't tell you who said them, or in what context. Compliments on the other hand ... They were like tiny little treasures. I could keep them and analyze them forever. I would remember the exact moment when they were said and who said them ... and I would always try to remember why.

Anyhow. I love compliments now. This summer has been so good to my ego (which contrary to popular belief needs an occasional stroking. I am not always my biggest fan). If this summer was not worthwhile for anything else, "Parenting Through the College Years" was marvelous to me. It's actually the part right after ... where parents would come up and tell me how great I was. They would negate my self-deprecating statements. Overall, it was good fun. Until they started to set me up with their sons. It started off with this kid Tucker. Then, it escalated. Today, at our last session, not only did four parents try to set me up with their sons (two of them going so far as to ask me for my e-mail and phone number while introducing me to the poor kids) but a father also said, "If I were thirty years younger, I would ask you out for coffee because you are possibly the most genuinely interesting person I've met in a long time." That is flattering ... and creepy. Very creepy.

As great as the compliments about my personality, musical talent, intellectual achievements, and hard work stuff are ... my favourites are the compliments about things I have no control over. People say, "that was great" after I play something on violin and I think to myself "Geez, yeah. I've only spent hundreds of hours locked in a tiny room with no windows trying to perfect it." But if someone compliments me on something completely superficial, as much as I hate to admit it, I love it. I've received some really strange compliments. More than one person has told me I sound like a Disney Princess. This makes me VERY happy ... (anyone who knows me and my obsession with Disney Princesses will understand). Anyhow. I got some marvelous compliments this summer about things I have no control over. After being generally disappointed in my appearance and having a not-so-great body image for years, I finally finally finally feel comfortable and happy in my own little shell. I've stopped wishing for smaller this and bigger that and prettier this ... and just adapted a "this is who I am and what I have to offer and if you have a problem with it see if I care" attitude ... and it helped a lot. However ... hearing from someone else that they like my eyes or nose or toes or whatever ... it's good to hear. As stupid and superficial and surface-y and stupid girl-y that may be, it's true.

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