19 April 2002 - 12:21 p.m.

Top 10 Reasons I'm Quitting Boys, Moving to Alaska and Becoming a Nun (subtitled "Girly Angst EXTREME!")

1. Seeing a certain boy can send me into Super-Cursing Mode and make me want to break things and/or light them on fire. I've realized the only thing that can counteract this is to yell to a certain person about this and to make fun of the boy mercilessly.

2. I spend all together too much time hating them.

3. I spend all together too much time liking them.

4. I spend all together too much time thinking/worrying about them.

5. The boys who tend to like me are Very Creepy (they fall into the sub-categories of "Unmeasurably Low Social IQs," "Pre-Pubescent," "Over 30," "Blind or Deaf (literally)," "Very Very Very Sketchy," "Creepy Ultra-Conservatives Who Tell Me I'm (in thick Southern Accents) 'Practically a Socialist'").

6. They are, most likely, thoroughly annoyed by my cocker spaniel-ish obnoxious attention craving tendencies. Two notes on this one: What do you expect from someone who is in the school formerly known as School for the Arts (alternate realization of the acronym SFA = Starving for Attention). Also, at least I do not pee on them like a REAL cocker spaniel.

7. As a nun, I could just sit around and play violin all day. That would be nice. Unfortunately, I would also have to give up swearing.

8. I really don't have any more reasons, but 10 sounds so much better than "Top 7 Reasons" or "Only 7 Reasons." I'm going to keep ranting for the next two numbers.

9. My roommate just asked me to go to ECONOMICS DAY. I had a very dramatic reaction which involved hastily putting up an away message (the ultimate geeky reaction) saying I needed to take a break from being conversational in order to recover from the shock of this request.

10. There. It looks like I have 10 Reasons. In reality, I am just being angsty. It's strange. I have friends who are married and have kids. They are off playing with their married friends. And I'm here in Boston ... being 13 and full of adolescent angst again. Just in another city. It is not so cool. I was already 13 once. I do not need to be 13 again. At least I am SLIGHTLY less awkward this time. Perhaps when I turn 20 in July, my teen angst will disappear. (I really wanted to use dissipate, just for Ellen bcause I know she enjoys the misuse (and misspelling) of the word. But I didn't.)

I'm through being ranty. Have a nice day. This has been edited to add that after today, I have 87 million MORE reasons to quit boys, etc. I am not going to list them all though. I am sick of being poochy and angsty. I shall quit.

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