18 April 2002 - 1:08 a.m.

I am ridiculously excited. Tomorrow night, I am going to the Dave Matthews Band concert. That is the good thing.

The un-good thing, you ask? I have realized tonight that my not-so-girly-ness is a facade. I am very girly. VERY. I wear pink and pigtails often, but that is not the worst of it. I have begun to act girly. Perhaps these are the after-effects of having too many male friends and being "one of the guys" for far too long ... perhaps it is that all of my female friends now are also not-so-girly, requiring me (the most girly of the non-girly girls) to take up the girly nitch (Is that how one spells that word? I do not know, and feel very self-concious ... ).

I have taken up giggling, skipping, and blushing a lot as acceptable behaviours. They are NOT things I normally do. Normally, I laugh. I laugh obnoxiously. I don't know where this coy giggle is coming from.

I am now the proud co-owner of a pink Hello Kitty notebook full of pink paper ... and I have a matching pink Hello Kitty pen to write in the notebook. This is a girly thing. VERY.

I have taken up using my least favourite Mel Gesture again. It is my "nervous with boys" gesture. I despise it's resurgence.

I am curling my hair again.

I love my pink clothings and my new blue formal.

'Tis terribly depressing. I do not know quite what to do with myself.

On another note, I finished the Evil Music History Paper O' Death. It is a bit over 10 pages ... without footnotes ... or a bibliography. I'm pretty proud of it actually. Anyhow, I'd best be off to bed.

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