13 February 2002 - 12:39 a.m.

I realized two things today:

1. I hate when people think they know what's good for me.

2. I like attention a lot.

People think they know me. I think this is the main problem. I tell lots of people lots of stuff, but there are lots of things I don't tell people. This is the stuff that, generally, makes me more difficult to understand. So then, when people say things like, "Just do this. Don't be scared. You have no reason to be scared" I want to punch them in the mouth and say "I do so have a reason to be scared ... you just don't know me. So there."

Also, I used to think I didn't like attention. I was wrong. I do. I like it a lot. It's kind of depressing. I really like it when people say nice things about me. Even if they don't mean them.

Among other things I don't like today: Getting crummy news aobut people from home ... which makes me worry, crummy people here telling (or not telling) me things, and Rick harassing me to update more frequently.

Tomorrow will be better right? And then we get the worst day of the year ... Valentine's Day. Stay Tuned for a rant about that one ... damn happy people who are "in love."

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