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06 February 2002 - 11:35 p.m.
I am a little worried about how full of anger I am, but I guess at least I don't actually hit people. -- Christinia
Well, Evil Melissa is back. I can be so horrendous sometimes. Geez. Last night, I sat with Christinia for three hours and just said mean things about people. That's an exaggeration actually. We sat for three hours and talked ... not all of it was mean ... but a lot of it was. I must insert a disclaimer here. It was not entirely our fault we were saying mean things. We have been driven to extreme circumstances to say mean things about people. However, the worst (best) part about last night is that it was fun. Really fun.
Okay, also, I realize that I say mean things about people who have done nothing in particular to harm me. Their very existance makes me want to light something on fire ... and then I say mean things to them, or about them, or do mean things to them.
I have decided there are two main things that trigger Evil Melissa's appearance.
First ... Stupid People. I know I say, "I hate Stupid People" a lot. I mean it. I really mean it. Stupid people are my number one pet peeve. They say and do stupid things. I want to scream at them "YOU ARE SO STUPID! DO YOU EVEN REALIZE HOW DUMB THAT IS?" Instead, I say to someone else, "Oh man, listen to this dumb thing Stupid Person said/did!" Or I say " ::: insert some scathing comment here::: " under my breath so I am heard by a select audience and not the Stupid Person. That is mean. I should be shot for that.
The second trigger is worse ... People Who Are Happier Than Me, Particularly People with Nice Boyfriends Who Are in Stable Relationships. They are the worst. Especially if they are Very Pretty, too. I say the meanest things about them. The happier and more stable their relationship is, the worse I am.
Anyhow, I suppose it is not SUCH a bad thing to have this evil side ... at least I recognize it and try to do something about it. And, as Christinia said, at least I don't actually hit people ... right?
