12 December 2001 - 11:42 p.m.

My jury's tomorrow. I'm scared ... really scared. I usually just get nervous, but I have been practicing a ton and every time I make a mistake I just have visions of doing the same thing tomorrow ... except 10 times worse. I know my pieces so well. And I know that I can play everything perfectly. Unfortunately, today, I have been ridiculously inconsistant. My intonation is shot ... my tempos are all too fast ... my rhythm and general musicality are okay, but I am obviously extremely tense when I'm playing. This would account not only for both the intonation and tempo problems (which I should be having the DAY before my jury), but also for the pain I have had the last two days in my wrists, arms, shoulders and back. I'm so tense when I play that I can feel my muscles relaxing about an hour after I've stopped. To make matters worse my elaborate plans to help myself relax and prepare for tomorrow have backfired in my little face. It sucks. A lot.

Know what else sucks? MU221 and MU203 and AN252. What are those, you say? Music History I, Honors Music Theory III, and Ethnicity and Identity. The three absolutely ridiculous classes in which I have absolutely ridiculous finals. I've been studying and practicing, literally since 7:30 this morning. It sucks. I haven't even really started so much for Ethnicity ... not to mention the scary-scary linguistics final on Monday (actually, being the language dork I am, I'm excited for the linguistics final).

Know what else sucks? My French class for next semester. Know why? I don't remember any French. Yeah. That's cool. The goals of Christmas break now are not only to sleep, practice and eat as much as possible, but also to read as much crazy French. So, I'm going to re-read fun French first ... the first three Harry Potters, The Secret Garden, and Le Petit Prince ... woohoo.

Know what else sucks? I'm not even going to list the rest of my list right now. :) Have a great day tomorrow. Wish me luck.

previous - next